Vigorously Lazy

with Christopher Heavener

Blog

Thursday, February 25th

120 in 2010: A Common Pornography

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Random Thoughts:

“Common” experiences of the young white male in the late 20th century/early 21st century: playing in bands, drinking, doing drugs, messing around with girls, masturbating to pornography, dealing with father issues. “Uncommon” experiences of the young white male in the late 20th century/early 21st century: Loosing your virginity to a prostitute, dating four women at a time, engaging in mutual masturbation with a male stranger in a video booth.

When reading a memoir you’re looking to put yourself in someone else’s shoes for two or three hundred pages. I’ve grown a little tired of reading of the aforementioned “common” experiences. It’s subject matter I’ve been so immersed in for years and years that reading a book with these experiences in it is like a little bit like reading a book about breathing or eating breakfast.  They’re funny at times and my heart warms to it because I can relate, but the filler vignettes in ACP of drugs and sex veer dangerously close to “slice of life” territory. Ultimately those things just don’t move me anymore, don’t offer me a tectonic shift of thinking, which is what I look for when putting on someone else’s shoes.

I felt the same way when I read Catcher in the Rye. I was expecting something along the lines of the Anarchist Cookbook, a controversial text, dripping with napalm, that would get me arrested if I was caught reading it in public. But halfway into the book it just felt like a buddy of mine telling me about his trip to New York. The voice and subject matter were so common to me that I failed to see what was so special about it.

Luckily the book is balanced with the “uncommon” experiences. I’m using these quotes because these experiences aren’t that uncommon at all. They’re probably more common than you think, but they remain unspoken, looked down upon. But Sampsell is someone that has the guts to write about them. Being as honest as possible is about as essential to a good memoir as printing on paper.

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It feels pithy to pass judgment on a book just because you’ve done some of the same things the author has. What makes this book worth the read is Sampsell’s voice. Calm, metered, matter-of-fact without being tepid or monotone. He doesn’t over-emphasize these experiences, doesn’t inflate them with meaning and wallow in denouement. He treats his love of football statistics with the same level-headedness as he does his sister’s mental illness. It’s refreshing to read an author that trusts the reader to put these loose vignettes together like a puzzle. He lets the audience impart their own meaning to these stories instead of dropping emotional cues everywhere, the equivalent of holding up an applause sign.

Google imaging “A Common Pornography” does not yield as many fucked up things as I had imagined it would.

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Tuesday, February 23rd

Issue Six Roster.

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{above image by Xenia Fink for the story “Bred in Captivity” by Ravi Mangla}

Did I mention we’re working on our new print issue? And did I mention that it’s got a stupid-ridiculous amount of talent in it? Don’t believe me? Do as Lavar Burton teaches by not taking my word for it and check out our tentative roster for our sacrifice themed issue.

A-hole in Germantown

Story: Mickey Hess

Images: Charles Bergquist

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Three Stories

Stories: Matt Bell

Images: Joseph Wood

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Ashore, An Island

Story: Jonathan Messinger

Images: Ghazal Hashemi

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Goodnight, America

Story: Jack Boettcher

Images: Daniel Lucas

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Baron Von Richtofen Flies Again

Story: Ryan Call

Images: Jenny Kendler

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Illusions [n2]

Story: J.A. Tyler

Images: owleyes

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The National Pastime

Story: Henry Ronan-Daniell

Images: Nathaniel Shannon

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A Very Compassionate Baby

Story: Anne Valente

Images: Chrissy Lau

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A Flawless Pick

Story: Ian Bassingwaithe

Images: Anthony Cudahy

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Our Lady of Guadalupe Needs a New Fight Song

Story: Jim Ruland

Images: Todd Jordan

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Bred in Captivity

Story: Ravi Mangla

Images: Xenia Fink

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How

Story: Roxane Gay

Images: Rose Wind Jerome

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Condominium

Story: Jimmy Chen

Images: Todd Fisher

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Claim

Story: Brandi Wells

Images: Yana Tutunik

Whew. That’s a lotta hooch. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to lose my mind for a week while we try to get this to the printers and back in time for AWP.

Monday, February 22nd

Rockets Red Glare.

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Some things that you did not know that you now know:

Contributor David Peak wrote a novel.

– The novel is called The Rocket’s Red Glare

– It is for sale here.

– You want to buy it. Why? Because David is a good writer. But you already knew that.

Friday, February 19th

Doggin’ It.

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I had to run laps in gym class pretty frequently. I’d get bored and not really care about finishing the number of laps coach had assigned and I’d just kind of turky-trot around the gym, just to see if I could wait coach out, see if he’d tell me to quit before I’d fulfilled my commitment. It never worked, he’d always call me out.

“You’re doggin’ it, Heavener! Quit doggin’ it!” His term for doing something half-assed.

I’m kinda doggin’ it on the site today. My mind is elsewhere. We’re putting together the print issue and my wheels took a shit so it’s been a mad dash to get anything done in a timely manner.

I promise to use my whole ass next week.

Thursday, February 18th

Eika Dopulo

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We tried to work with Russian artist Eika Dopulo for Issue Six but circumstances got the best of us and we couldn’t make it happen.We have resolved, however, to work with her in the very near future. Check out her behance and her flickr and imagine what could have been and what will be.

Wednesday, February 17th

Revolution?

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My brother, avid Mac disciple that he is, sent the above video this morning. He told me Annalemma should think about developing an application (cannot bring myself to say “app,” the word feels soft and wimpy on my tongue) for the iPad. Making one for the iPhone makes sense, I guess. Something like 65% of all content on the web is viewed with a mobile device nowadays (and I’m willing to bet that 90% of that content is Facebook related). But the iPad feels like such a colossal waste of money. What does this thing do that the iPhone does not? The e-book/reading feature is kinda cool, I guess, but it feels more like an afterthought than a primary function. The publishing world was asking for a savior and they got tossed table scraps.

What it boils down to for the magazine is whether or not what we do is accessible to people. I’ve always desired this magazine to be inviting to the savvy reader and first-timer alike, but with a $700 price tag I can’t see anyone buying this thing just for reading purposes.  It’s going to be owned by the tech elite initially and then, months or a couple years later, it’s primary function is going to sift through, or it will be a total flop.

I’m not really interested in being the first lit mag on the iPad. It would probably garner some initial press and a few people would find their way to the site and even fewer might actually subscribe. But if we created a revolutionary use for the iPad, beyond its original intent, then it would be a signal flair to the audience, to people like you and me.

Who can say with this type of shit, though. I’m the worst tech forecaster ever. What say you, Internet? Do you plan on buying an iPad? Are you excited about this thing at all? Or is Wired simply playing their role? Developing an application because they are expected to, not because it serves any purpose? There for the sake of being there?

(p.s. Someone neglected to mention that Wired’s creative director is a cyborg. Makes perfect sense though.)

Tuesday, February 16th

Xenia Fink.

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We’re fortunate enough to have the meticulous and beautiful line work of Xenia Fink in our roster for Issue Six. Xenia’s humans are inviting at first but seem to become more warped the longer you look at them. Enough with that arts talk. Go check out her site.

Monday, February 15th

120 in 2010: Fugue State.

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Random thoughts:

If you’re like me, whenever you start to read a new story or novel, a slick-haired-pressed-shirt-energy-drink-sipping Hollywood agent in your brain sits down behind an over designed desk made of glass and stainless steel, listlessly listening to the pitch while tapping away at a Blackberry, occasionally barking into the Bluetooth in his ear. If he doesn’t hear the 5 crucial elements of storytelling within the first 5 minutes then he gets bored and annoyed and pushes a flashing red button on the underside of his desk, which causes you to throw the book across the room or delete the text file and move on to something more interesting.  I don’t know if this comes from being an editor for the past three years and having to sift through a lot of bad writing, for which I have little tolerance. But the agent has become something of a problem when I sit down to read an author like Brian Evenson.

Evenson forces the agent to slow down. He swats the Blackberry out of the agent’s hand, flicks the Bluetooth from his ear, dumps the latte out on his head. Not in one swift motion though, it’s a slow assault. One by one. When Evenson starts telling a story he plucks the agent from his high rise corner office and drops him into a dark labyrinth, where the only choice he has is to follow Evenson, and the only certainty is that it’s going to get darker.

This makes Fugue State a maddening read at times. Evenson plays on a reader’s expectations and natural desire for a clear storyline by sending them on an inwardly spiraling journey into insanity and paranoia. The characters often don’t know that there’s an irreversible, life-altering change chugging toward them like a freight train, until it’s too late. Characters trade places, become the people that they despise and fear most. They let darkness take hold of them until they forget who they are and who they were. If you’ve ever know anyone who’s lost their memory you know it doesn’t get much more terrifying than that.

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Friday, February 12th

BBCDW: Cure All.

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I don’t know anything about this book but I’m already interested. When designing a book cover, this is the sentiment you’re trying to get out of a random book buyer. Caketrain not only nailed this requisite, but they just plain knocked it out of the park with Kim Parko’s Cure All. They’re getting their money’s worth out of Elene Usdin’s dreamy, haunting photograph. Full of movement and light, straddling a line somewhere between enticing and frightening. Well done, Amanda and Joseph.

Heads-up: Elene Usdin is unveiling her new show, “Femmes D’Interieur,” in Brooklyn this month. If you like this cover you should go check out this very talented French photographer.

Thursday, February 11th

Scene Report – Harper’s presents Love: A Rebuke.

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I found out late last minute that Sam Lipsyte was reading at Housing Works so I dropped everything and trekked through 91 inches of slush to see one of my favorite authors because events like these are the reason you move to New York. Heidi Julavits and Colson Whitehead were there too, along with some big wheels from Harper’s. Like I said, this is the reason.

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The man himself, who doesn’t have a website, which kind of pisses me off. Why are authors so slow to adopt technology? Is it because updating real-time information is so antithetical to polishing and crafting sentences and stories? The complete opposite of what they strive to do in the first place? Or do they just think it’s a waste of time? Whatever. All I know is his reading made me want to buy The Ask even more than I already do. And that I got no business writing if it’s not going to come out as good as his.

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Colson Whitehead has good stage presence and delivery but his set-up veered dangerously close to being overly complicated. Heidi Julavits read a story that I feel like I would have loved had I read it my room, but didn’t translate all that great to a reading.

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Pop quiz:

You are at a reading with some of the most well-known and influential people in the New York literary scene and you only have one copy of your magazine to give away. Do you give it to…

a) Sam Lipsyte

b) Colson Whitehead

c) Heidi Julavits

d) one of the big wheels at Harper’s

e) Justin Taylor

The answer is…

Trick question. You put on your coat and you leave immediately to go eat Thai food and catch up on Lost, because you have been holed up in your apartment for days and lack of human contact has devolved your social skills into that of a pubescent PC gamer and speaking to other humans at this point would only be an exercise in making the both parties uncomfortable. And first impressions are important.

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Fucking February. You may make it through the holidays with some positivity still in tact, you may even coast through January with a little hitch in your step, but fucking February is always waiting to choke it right out of you. And if you make it through Valentines then you are simply not human.

On a positive note: How about the Housing Works Bookstore? Pretty amazing, right? Every dollar from book sales to food and beverage go to homeless men and women living with aids. All the merchandise is donated, all employees are volunteers. New favorite book store.