Okay, so it’s pretty much a given that Satan is keeping a Choke Pear nice and glowing-hot for when Glenn Beck gets to Hell, but not for the reasons you’re thinking. Sure, whipping Fox News audiences into a fever storm of right wing fury that further polarizes our already fragile union (and making a shit ton of cash doing it) and refusing to take responsibility for his actions when it comes back to bite him in the ass, claiming it’s all entertainment and all in good fun, may seem like a damnable offense of the first degree. But what’s really earning him a red-hot goosing is his shitty book cover design.

What the fuck? You couldn’t get a real apple pie? Don’t you have art directors and production designers that cater to your every shitty whim? Couldn’t they at least make an apple pie out of resin and fiberglass or something? You of all people should know about things that may look nice on the outside but are actually filled with toxic chemicals. Instead of spending a few hundred dollars on production design you decided to stand there with your hands empty, mugging at the camera like an idiot. Then again, this is something you’re used to.