Vigorously Lazy

with Christopher Heavener

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Wednesday, July 29th

Mneh-er Book Cover Design of the Week.

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Penguin commissioned Ruben Toledo to draw up some covers for some of their classic snooze-fests in celebration of fashion week or some bullshit.

Penguin’s heart is in the right place, trying to spruce up some old dogs with fancy new covers, and the drawings aren’t bad, but good book covers these do not make.

It makes these books look like a Tim Burton picture book adaptation of the classic stories. If you’re going to get some new artists to gussy up some old novels how about doing it with a little bit of balls and/or ovaries?

How about Aurel Schmidt takes on Bukowski:

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Or Dante by Neckface.

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Or better yet, let Angela Boatwright tackle Emily Bronte.

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There. All fixed.

Tuesday, July 28th

Keirin.

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Dear friend Thomas up and started himself a bike shop down in Miami called Keirin. To celebrate the achievment DVS decided to design him some special kicks. And in the bottomless generosity of his heart he saw fit to send me a pair. I rode to work in them today and they are very comfortable and made me go very fast. Faster than most cars. Though that’s not partcularly uncommon in Winter Park where motorists are more concerned with window dressings of local shops than of maintaining the legal speed limit. Nevertheless, good kicks.

Check out all the cool fun shit Thomas is up to on the Keirin Cycles blog. Thanks dude!

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Friday, July 24th

Stephen Berkman.

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I don’t know much about Stephen Berkman, except that his other-worldly images have the power to make you smile with inspiration and freak the hell out of you at the same time.

Most interesting is how he gathers heavily from the late 1800’s to create a vibe of surreal whimsey, particularly his use of old-timey ambrotype technology (positive image burned on to a sheet of glass, as opposed to daguerreotype, in which the image is exposed to polished silver). I couldn’t decide on which image I liked the best, so I just included all my favs. Here’s to a delightfully nightmarish weekend!

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Thursday, July 23rd

Bill Harris.

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Bill Harris’s work is a little hit and miss, as well as a little scattered, but that’s the way it goes when you’re as prolific as he is. Nevertheless, when he’s on, he’s fucking ON. His portraits are seemingly mundane snapshots of everyday life, but it doesn’t take too long before you realize the weight of what’s happening in these scenes. You know a painting is good when the story starts telling itself in your head.

Wednesday, July 22nd

Better Book Cover Design of the Week.

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What do you think of when you think of the word scouring? I imagine myself on a horse drawn covered wagon with fifteen mustangs pulling me, galloping wildly, leather straps and buckles jostling and snapping and clanging, each horses eyes open frighteningly wide showing the little sliver of white, saliva ribboning from their mouths, my one hand on the reins, the other shielding the sun from my eyes, looking out across the desert landscape rapidly coming towards me then disappearing, wind thundering in my ears, hollering through a dry and cracked throat at the horses, “H-yaw! H-yaw!“, looking for someone. A fugitive, a doctor, a law man. Someone who holds my life and the lives of others in their hands.

I learned a couple years ago during a game of Scatagories that it really means “to rub hard especially with a rough material for cleansing.”

It also means “to suffer from diarrhea or dysentery” but that’s not really the point. I was scouring the internet this morning, in only one sense of the word, looking for a good book cover for this weeks BBCDW and basically getting a little depressed at the amount of bullshit out there. Then, in my darkest hour, this little diamond popped out of the rough.

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer turns the Faust legend on it’s ear as a man who’s sold his soul to learn the secrets of raising the dead now tries to win it back from the Devil by getting 100 people to commit their souls to be damned. Sounds like it might run the risk of either being some lame-ass genre bullshit or it could be really awesome.

The woodcut skeleton dude, the black and white with a splash of blood red, it all evokes a healthy dose of deliciously evil fun. Well done, nameless Double Day designer.

Tuesday, July 21st

Jennifer O’Malley.

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Dear friend and fashion guru Jen O’Malley unveiled a new bunch of headbands this week. Dunno of she’s selling them yet (UPDATE: She is!) but if you’ve got a special lady in your life this would make a pretty sweet gift. And if you are a special lady you might wanna get your hands on one before one shows up on the noggin of Bat for Lashes or Joanna Newsome and by then you’re behind the fashion curve. Which is undoubtedly a fate worse than death.

Monday, July 20th

Jam.

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Friday, July 17th

Friday Failure Book Pile.

I pulled all the old books out of storage to find a few gems:

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Ugh. Kinda gross. Anyway I thought I’d take this opportunity to dig through muck and find a few modern classics that I never completed. Let the failure begin!

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Drop City by T.C. Boyle

Man, I must not have gotten far in this one cause save for a small fold on the upper right corner my copy of this book looks like it came right off the shelf of the book store. I’d always heard Boyle was supposed to be one of the funniest writers of his generation. I guess that’s what motivated me to pick up Drop City in the first place. When I think of funny I don’t think of spending a few dozen pages setting the scene of the novel: a group of 1970’s hippies on a commune setting out to colonize Alaska. That, and I think around the time I picked up this book I had jsut finished reading an issue of Vice that was devoted to destroying the baby boomer generation, so I was all, “fuck these self-diluted people.”

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Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

I think I picked this one up cause it seemed like a good book to have under your belt to talk about with girls. I’d say the same about 100 Years of Solitude, which I enjoyed the shit out of. I thought to myself, “For some reason babes love the fiery latin rhythms that GGM is capable of throwing, so why not familiarize yourself? You might learn something.” Turns out the only thing I learned was that unrequited love has never been so boring. Thing about Marquez is he’s real hit and miss. 100 Years of Solitude may be one of the best books I’ve ever read, but Love and Other Demons? Holy shit, what a stink pile.

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Humboldt’s Gift by Saul Bellow

I’ve no excuse for not finishing this one other than being downright lazy. It had everything going for it: set in Chicago (a town I was in love with at the time), a narritorial voice that gripped you like an old friend putting his arm around you and walking you to the bar to buy you a drink, and Saul Bellow, master storyteller. I need to read this one. I will read this one. Lemme just check out these lolcats first. Goddamn internet.

Thursday, July 16th

Weekly.

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Got a little bit of ink over at the Orlando Weekly. It’s the best and only award we’ve ever recieved. Check it out here. I’ve always been a fan of the Weekly’s  “Best of Orlando” issue. For one it occasionally turns me on to some previously unheard of spots around town as well as highlighting some of the cooler aspects of the city. Also I find it really funny when the editor’s picks contrast so vastly with the reader’s picks.

Best subs of 2009:

Editor’s pick – Philly Style Hoagies and Deli

Reader’s pick – Publix Supermarket

Wednesday, July 15th

RIP Dash Snow.

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Love him or hate him, he was an interesting person:

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