Vigorously Lazy

with Christopher Heavener

Blog

Friday, August 13th

Cycle Complete.

Picture 2

Whooo, buddy. Took us a little bit, and had a brief case of the ‘slush-crazies’, but we finally finished the reading cycle for Annalemma Issue Seven: Endurance. According to the Submishmash report (which is incredible, btw, big ups to Michael Fitzgerald and crew) we got almost 340 short stories and essays and accepted a little under 6% of them. God bless everyone for submitting. Even though the odds are not in your favor you did it anyway and for that I give you a very sincere hat tip.

Had a lot of folks helping with this: Thanks to Nathan Goldman who is very enthusiastic about reading and writing and that will take him far. Thanks to Dylan Suher who had responses to some of the pieces that made me laugh my ass off. Thanks to Andrea Kneeland who accepts no guff from fiction and I like that a lot. Thanks to Anika Sabin who only read a couple stories cause there was some confusion with the software and I was on too much of a tear to stop and help her. Sorry Anika. Very special thanks to Janelle Luce who helps me out on tons of other stuff besides reading subs because she has a heart that is devoid of any kind of evil and is purely kind and good and overwhelmingly positive.

Full roster coming Monday. This issue is gonna be a corker. A CORKER.

Picture 3

Thursday, August 12th

Eff Yeah, Bookstores!: Subterranean Books.

aug 2010 ps

The following is the first part in an ongoing series highlighting those hidden caches of awesomeness, the independent bookstores that pepper this great land. Subterranean Books is one of the many rad bookstores inhabiting the St. Louis area, and not only are they surviving, but they’re thriving. This short interview with owner, Kelly von Plonski, was conducted via email.

What’s Subterranean’s origin story?
I was working at another bookstore and knew that I wanted to open my own store using my ideas and vision.  I had a business partner and together we borrowed money from relatives and opened Subterranean as a mixed-stock new and used bookstore, in October 2000.  Along the way I’ve transitioned the store from the mixed-stock to all new books, and shed my partner.  This year is our 10th anniversary and we’re still going strong.

What’s the curatorial process when choosing books to stock?
Short version: Gut.  Long version: Everyone on staff has input and the stock is reflective of our personalities. If anyone knows something or feels something about a book or a subject, we’ll stock it.  We also eavesdrop on our customers, pay attention to what’s being special ordered, read blogs, magazines, newspapers…everything to stay up on what would be interesting to carry.  We also carefully track what is already selling so that we are carrying what our customers want.  But especially, since we’re a small store we know our customers–we have conversations with them and we always take what they have to say to heart.  Many many books are on the shelves now because a customer told us about them.

What’s the arts/literature scene in St. Louis like and what role does Subterranean play within it?
The arts/literature scene is thriving.  There are so many small galleries operating right now.  So many drama troupes and poetry groups.  We’ve had an art gallery in the store pretty much since we opened and we’ve had exhibits by almost 100 different artists up.  We help out with Noir at the Bar, a semi-regular literary event that focuses on crime fiction and takes place…in a bar. We’ve hosted traveling authors from Melville House, Soft Skull, Akashic Books, Found vs PostSecret and other really cool edgy publishers.

aug 2010  2 ps
What helps a book sell? What’s been the most successful book at Subterranean?
A passionate bookseller.  People come to us because they trust us so when someone wants a recommendation they almost always take us up on the suggestion.  When one of us just loves loves a book, that excitement comes through and customers respond.  We have recommendation labels (shelf talkers) on a number of books and sales of those titles directly correlate.  Sales will all of a sudden spike for a title and I’ll check, and sure enough, someone has written a shelf talker for it.  By a landslide our bestselling title is ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’, second up is ‘Omnivore’s Dilemma’.

How does a brick-and-mortar store not only survive, but maintain relevance in the age of Amazon?

Because you can touch them, smell them, flip through the pages and hear that lovely page-flipping sound. Turn the cover over to see the back.  You can have a real live conversation, standing at the counter. You can run into someone you haven’t seen in a while or that lives next door. People really appreciate that we curate, that they don’t have to dig through the dreck to get to something good.  They like it that they can ride their bicylcle over, take a coffee break next door, and ride home with a book from the Staff Picks shelf.

Please describe the cat that lives in your store. If you don’t have a bookstore cat, please explain why.

My mom and grandmother were horribly allergic to cats so even though I don’t have allergies, I am very sensitive to those that do and we’ve never had a store cat for that reason.

Kelly4713bloggers

(image via)

Tuesday, August 10th

Summer Sale Ends This Weekend!

183416348_23b295f40e

It’s hot out. There’s nothing to do but find some AC and kick back with some fine reading material. But a hard drive spinning in a laptop can get cooking and the greedy heart of a publisher can  make books pricey. What’s a reader to do? We got you covered.

Order your copy of Annalemma Issue Six: Sacrfice today and get $5.00 off any back issue of your choosing. That means you could get $5.oo off Issue Five or you could get Issues #3 or #4 for FREE.

To take advantage of this discount that’s wildly unscrupulous on our part, simply add Issue Six to your cart, add one back issue of your choosing, then enter the coupon code “Summer” (case sensitive) in the coupon code field at the checkout page.

Think the savings don’t get any better? Think again! From now until August 15th, the Annalemma Bundle is a whopping 20% off! That’s all the available issues of Annalemma for a mere $20.00 plus S&H.

The summer sale ends this Sunday, August 15th. Head over to our store now!

Tuesday, August 10th

Julia Randall.

randall_french_kisser

If you’re looking for something beautifully disturbing this Tuesday morning, check out Julia Randall‘s hyper-real/unreal color pencil creations. Before click, prepare to be wowed, but take some Dramamine.

Monday, August 9th

120 in 2010: The Taste of Penny

dzanc2

Most of the characters in Jeff Parker’s The Taste of Penny are broken, about-to-be broken or are in-the-process-of breaking. Most of them are men, all of them grappling with their own ineptitude. In “Our Cause” a toungeless ski resort worker flees to the prairies of Wyoming into the arms of eco-activism after his girlfriend is wooed by burly bearded townie. In “False Cognate” an American struggles with the language barrier in Russia, accidentally asking women where he can find a whore when all he’s actually asking for is a barber. “Two Hours and Fifty Three Minutes” is an email conversation between a database technician the women he thinks he impregnated in the past only to learn that both women lied to him about his sperm’s potential. The ineptitude reaches a critical mass with The James Stories toward the end of the book. A triptych on uselessness, the stories follow the misadventures of a fuck-up as girlfriends leave and replace him, shamelessly cheat on him right under his nose, and his attempts to pick up the pieces in the aftermath.

Parker’s broken men are lovable goofballs on the surface, but a little dig a little and you’ll find a streak of sadness running deep and wide within in them. Parker struggles with the questions of masculinity that men face in the early 21st century: What does it mean to be a man? What is masculinity? Is it a birthright or is it something to be cultivated? Is it something that must be grown (or beaten) into? The conclusions are unclear, though one thing is certain: the characters are undeniably human.

The voices of the characters are the gems of these stories. Dripping with the residue of childhoods spent smoking weed and skateboarding, these characters engage in incredibly satisfying moments of push-pull dialogue. In the titular story, Sam and Jeremy, two men running a hauling company, are on the phone with a rival hauling company they recently sabotaged:

“What are they saying?” Jeremy said.

“They say we got a problem,” Sam said.

“Talking to your pussy, dick?” one of the two men said. Sam couldn’t tell them apart anymore.

“They ask if I’m talking to my pussy.” Sam said.

“Tell them your pussy takes umbrage at their comment,” Jeremy said.

“Takes what?” Sam said.

“You guys need to watch your backs, this ain’t cool. We let you run your little show around here long enough. Now there may be some action.’

“An equal and opposite reaction?” Sam said in the voice of a black man imitating a white man.

Um-bridge,” Jeremy said

“Payback action,” the two men said.

“My pussy takes umbrage at your comment,” Sam said.

“Umbrage to your comment,” one of them said and hung up.

For the characters in The Taste of Penny, the stakes are simultaneously low and high. Of course it doesn’t really matter who wins in a game of Jenga cause you can always start another game, it doesn’t really matter if your girlfriend leaves you cause you can always move on, it doesn’t matter if the girl in the apartment below you can hear you masturbating to internet porn because you can always blame it on the guy living above you. The stakes are high in a cosmic, historical and existential sense, as in, why do these men keep finding themselves in these positions of embarrassment, of impotence and shame? The questions remain unresolved. But these are questions that take a lot longer to resolve than the short time Parker gives us to spend with these endearing jokers. But the possibility looms that maybe what we are witnessing in these lives of these men is a turning point.

Buy it here from Dzanc Books

Writer Jeff Parker

Friday, August 6th

Deadline.

42110-004-A97E85E8

You’ve got roughly 15 hours before the deadline for Annalemma Issue Seven: Endurance closes for good. Deadline for submissions is at 12:00 midnight EST tonight. We’ll be closing submissions for the next week in order to get a breather. After that we’ll only be reading for online publication for a while.

If you want to appear in the print issue this is your very last chance for a very long time. Time’s a-wasting! Submit already!

Thursday, August 5th

Key.

Tag-Cloud

{image via}

I’ve been working on some copy for a website for the last couple days. The purpose of the copy is to play the hatefully baffling SEO keyword Google ranking game. A game that I’m typically skeptical of (but something I realized lately about marketing and sales is that there’s rarely one golden goose marketing strategy that turns everything around for your business or project. The most successful strategies are usually multi-faceted plans that cover a lot of different media outlets. You’re don’t invest yourself into one book trailer and hope that goes viral, you spread yourself across many platforms, hoping to reach as many people through as many different outlets as possible. But anyway, keywords.)

The biggest flaw in Google ranking is that it doesn’t rank quality sites highest, but instead it ranks sites that contain highest concentration of the words you’re searching for. In a perfect world, only the best sites would have a high concentration of those words you’re searching for, but when you know how Google ranking works, regarles of your sites quality, you can jam your site with keywords to get to the top of the list.

Before posting this I searched “most prestigious literary magazine” “best literary magazine” and “most successful literary magazine” hoping it would take me to the site of a respected lit mag that publishes quality stories. Instead it took me to a few blogs talking about which mag was the best. Then I wrote the following paragraph hoping it would take this post to the top of the rank (it didn’t, not enough keywords):

Annalemma is the best literary magazine that has ever existed. There have been many literary magazines that have existed before Annalemma, but none as recognized and prestigious as Annalemma. In print and online, Annalemma is the most successful literary magazine that has ever existed. Annalemma is benevolent with the power and influence that it wields. Many people cower in fear at the accomplishments the best literary magazine in the world has achieved. Annalemma touches them on the shoulder and whispers, “Fear not, my child. You are in the presence of supreme good.”

Sorry about all that. Just trying to prove a point. I felt really shitty writing all that because it was something I knew wasn’t true. I won’t deny we got a pretty good thing going here but it can’t really live up to those claims. Which is my main problem with SEO: it’s an easy quality filter to circumvent. Not only that, but there’s so much emphasis placed on it in internet marketing. Ideally it should only be one part and parcel to your entire marketing strategy. I guess the thing that bothers me most about SEO is that it makes it easy to use language in an ugly way for selfish gain. Then it struck me. Most people attempting to write fiction use language in this manipulative SEO marketing style, without the intent of evoking any sort of image or emotion or connecting in a meaningful way with a reader, jamming their stories with words they hope will click on receptors in peoples brains that make them remember times when those now-empty words were used skillfully.

Words are such beautiful things, using them like this seems perverse.  But it doesn’t have to be that way. The challenge that faces you when playing the SEO game is the challenge that faces every person attempting any discipline of writing: use language in a beautiful way in order to accomplish what you need in times you live in.

Tuesday, August 3rd

Deadline This Friday.

Endurance1

If you’re waiting for the last minute to submit to Annalemma Issue Seven: Endurance, then you are very close. Deadline ends Friday, August 6 at midnight. We’re gonna try to read all of the outstanding ones over the weekend then make the call Monday.

The short list has grown into a shining stack of excellence, so if you were holding back with your best piece, now is the time to submit it. The competition has teeth.

Monday, August 2nd

120 in 2010: Ablutions.

IMG

Told in second person, Ablutions begins with the narrator “discussing” the regulars. A wannabe cop with Vitiligo, a dubious medium with a long grey beard, a South African ex-pat ex-male model, a former child actor bloated, bleach blonde and hopelessly warped by his childhood in the spotlight, a parasitic-yet-lovable crack addicted giant, characters that have nothing and no one in their lives more important than themselves and the seedy LA bar in which they spend most of their time. Through the lens of an alcoholic bar back, the narrator has brings the audience into the world of the bar just before his life and the lives of the regulars begin to spiral out of control. Jobs are lost, lives are threatened, prostitutes are hired, marriages are dissolved and horses are, without warrant, beaten and shouted at.

On paper, the premise of Ablutions looks like it was dreamt up by a young man aspiring to the romanticized archetype of the drunk writer: notes for a novel regarding alcoholism, spending one’s life in bars and drinking dangerous amounts of whiskey and consuming a brain-baking amount of drugs. At best, the premise feels like well-worn territory and, at worst, tedious and uninteresting to anyone over 21. However, DeWitt possesses the skills to transcend the stereotype: an annunciated wit that seems inherent to people from the northwest, an insight into the actions of addicts and the ability mold them into crystalline aphorisms that demand underlining.

Regarding the narcotics-addicted pharmacist woman who the narrator believes is actually a pre-op transsexual male, “She has asked you many times to walk her to her car or to the ladies room, and has asked to accompany you to the storage room, but you always say no because there are certain mysteries in the human world that you have never been curious about and here is one of them.”

The wisdom of an institutionalized drifter, “There are two types of people: Those who want to cry, and those who are crying already and want to stop.”

Regarding the narrator wishing a regular’s death, “Simon is staring at you, and now he knows for a fact something he has suspected for years which is that you have a streak of hate in your heart and that it is deep and wide and though you have hidden it, it is unmistakably uncovered now, and he will never feel that previously mentioned fondness for you again and you can see the words in his eyes as plain as day: I’m going to get you fired from here, mate.”

Most impressive about deWitt’s style is how he recognizes the importance of showing images rather than expositing. Describing a tall man the narrator becomes briefly obsessed with, “He is leaning against the wall of a convenience store and you see his wide hat and dark clothing and know he could cross the street to you car in two long strides and you think of him following you home and crawling through your front door on his hands and knees.”

The idea of notes for a novel may come off as lazy, as if the writer didn’t feel the need to flesh out the story or characters all the way, but instead decided to hand the audience a bunch of ideas and leave it up to them to piece it together. This isn’t the case with Ablutions. The notes aspect offer the audience the immediate intimacy of reading someone’s journal, as if the narrator immediately trusts us, and in turn, we must trust him to take us somewhere interesting.

When you spend lots of time in bars, drinking and operating under the delusion that you’re going to one day be the next Fante or Faulkner (a romanticized lush in your own right) you collect all these strange things that happen in bar culture as if they mean something, as if they can be used for your writing at some point. The drawback is that the things that happen in bars often only add up to a few anecdotes, some jokes, and maybe a good story to tell a stranger who drags a seat up next to you. However deWitt pulled something interesting off in Ablutions with these collections of abuse, of violence and self destruction: he painted a larger picture of pain and suffering and the depths of denial that human beings are capable of when they stop taking responsibility for their lives. DeWitt highlights the point that those are the moments that can come to define us as humans and he asks the audience this question: What kind of human are you? The kind that succumbs to the horror of your pain or the kind that propels yourself out of it?

contact_pic

Friday, July 30th

Weekend Happenings.

printersballprogramfrnt

Say, friend, do you like fun? Well, get ready for a skullfull of it. If you’re in Chicago tonight, Issue Five contributor Jill Summers is orchestrating the Printer’s Ball: An extravagant celebration of publishing bringing together paper-loving folks from all over the city, reading words, showing videos and, of course, drinking too much and making some delicious mistakes. Get there early enough and snag a free copy of Issue Six. Seriously get there early. They give away tons of mags for free every year and the good stuff goes quick.

And if you’re on the opposite side of the country…

10 July VerminSD

Issue Six contributor Jim Ruland is summiting the Mount once again. This time Jim’s playing host to the High Emission Book Tour. Aaron Burch‘s playful jab at James Kaelan absolutely shattered its goal on Kickstarter. Congrats guys. That looks like ten pounds of fun stuffed in a five pound bag.

So what’s going on in your town tonight? Doritos and Netflix? Sounds like a damn good time to me. Whip up a flyer. I’ll post it.