Not sure if anyone who reads this blog is the same type of person who submits to the magazine. Regardless, figured I’d give this a shot anyway.

ANNALEMMA NEEDS CREATIVE NONFICTION

If you or anyone you know is in possession of any kind of CNF (essays, memoir, interviews) that you’re willing to have published send it ASAP to chris@annalemma.net.

The submissions department is currently drowning in short stories and we need some nonfiction to balance it out. Tell your story people! Your real story. It’s not hard. You’re already doing it. You’re just changing the names and calling it fiction. Keep them names in there! Dish about that time you and your cousin ot stuck in the UN and ended up as Chancellors to Belgium and subsequently caused an international incident when it was learned you only knew how to say, “Where is the H&M?” in German.

Let’s be honest. Your family was going to disown you at some point anyway. May as well make it happen on your terms.  Click here for more details.

Are you going to be in the greater Los Angeles area this coming weekend (25th-26th)? Do you like books? Do you like festivals? Do you like book festivals?

If you said yes to any of these questions then you need to come out to the LA Times Festival of Books where myself and a special mystery guest will be holding court and making friendship bracelets all weekend at the Annalemma booth # 146. Come check us out!

Never reluctant to flaunt star power, La La Land is pulling out the big guns for this event. Ever heard of a little author called Tori Spelling? How about Tom Bergeron? Hello?! It’s called AFV and it’s the funniest program on television.

I’m making some postcards this week. Here’s the first two and the back. I’m making them to get ready for this. Last book fair we had no little trinkets to give away. People like free shit apparently.

Anyway, lemme know what you think about these, or if there’s a particular image or story from issue #4 that you think should be immortalized on a postcard.

So I’m in the midst of sifting through submissions for issue #5 and this process has compelled me to go on a bit of a tirade about the business of writing good stories. Seems that some of you submitters out there have forgotten some fundamental principles of good storytelling so I thought it would be in both of our best interests if we took a little trip to Writing Day Camp.

Here is what you are about to say:
“Who the fuck is this guy telling me how to write good stories? I’m already a good writer. I drink and I smoke and I read Chuck Palahniuk. End of discussion. I’m a fuckin’ writer.”

Take it easy. I promise you will get something out of this. And if you don’t then, well, you can punch me in the arm at about 40 percent. No, 30 percent.

Also, I wanted to do a “list” kind of post cause apparently they’re really popular with internet nerds and I want to drive up my hits. Tryin’ to make dat internet money son!
(ahem) Sorry. Let’s begin…

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To celebrate the fact that I have an overabundance of boxes in my closet, Annalemma Issue #3 is on sale for half the cover price. Click here to check it out. While you’re there, be sure to check out issue #4, which is no longer on pre-order and is shipping promptly.

Stories & Songs was really fun last Friday, I’ll post pics tomorrow

Remember when I told you not to forget? You probably did. That’s okay. Here’s the last reminder. Come out and get ‘krumped’ tonight, as the kids say. That’s what they say, right?

Very excited to be getting some cyber ink over at clubmumble.com thanks to current contributor and all-around-good-dude Todd Jordan. Check it out, even though it’s going to eventually re-direct you right back here. Still exciting!

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There’s a new story up over at Annalemma. It’s called Lost and Found. It was written by Thomas Cooper and is accompanied by an illustration by Salamat Ali. It’s one of my favorites. Check it out.

Just got back from AWP and I’m fried. I’ll post pics tomorrow.