Umm, I don’t know break this to you Melville House… You’re cool and everything, but I don’t really see you like that. Sorry. Hope we can still be friends.

It’s finally done. And only six days late!

It all started last week, when I had to re-learn how to make a zine. I hadn’t made one since college.This was the Wednesday before last, when the iPad was getting announced. It felt real weird to be doing the most rudimentary practice of media distribution, while thousands of miles away, the “future” of it was being unveiled.

Prototypes. I did a shitty layout, then sent it over to Jen who typeset it beautifully. And for free! Big heart on that O’Malley.

It came time to print and I was having major issues. Printer was claiming I hadn’t loaded the paper properly or there wasn’t enough paper when I told it, repeatedly, that this was not the case. I contacted Epson, who was no help. I was having nightmares of having to take this thing into Kinko’s. Then I saw this red button. And what do you do to a red button? You press it. And the printer started working. That’s all she wanted, just to know that I was there, that I hadn’t forgotten about her. This is apparently the reassurance button.

And BOOM! You got yurself a zine. Not long after this photo was taken I did an email with The Cambodian Daily about this project. No joke. First bit of international press! Oh, and Yahoo users: did you know about this?

Festive table of contents.

Very happy with this one. Oh yeah, did I mention…

Red staples. It’s called attention to detail, people. Maybe you should look into it (this hubris does not apply to typos).

This zine’s dancing with talent!

Did I mention that we’re only print 100 of them and that orders are shipping now? Click here to buy!

Did you do anything exciting this weekend?

Besides going to church?

We did.

We collected treasure the entire weekend.

Well, not the entire weekend.

It was broken up by occasional comments on a certain post.

It felt good and strange and weird and exciting.

And it gave me the feeling that this move to NY was starting to pay off a little bit.

Now if I could only convert all this attention into subscriptions.

Whatever. In a way, it’s just cool and satisfying to be connecting with some people I respect and admire.

But back to the treasures…

When you have someone special in town, everything you see becomes a treasure.

A 1970 Chevy Impala is always a treasure.

Treasure is all around you.

Annalemma and HTMLgiant are hopping into the sack together for a contest. Taking yesterday’s When Author’s Get Hungry contest, we decided to throw When Author’s Get Off. Go over to the Giant and turn your favorite book title into something ribald, titillating or downright pornographic. Winner gets an Annalemma Bundle. Contest ends tomorrow afternoon. And better bring your A-game, I’m already laughing my ass off.

Also we will be putting out the call for submissions for a collaborative piece named after the winning title.

Thanks to Jimmy Chen for getting the ball rolling!

Some interesting articles have been arriving by post as of late. Let me tell you about them.

The talented J.A. Tyler was kind enough to send me this beautiful bundle of chapbooks from Mudluscious Press. Mind you, I ordered and paid for them (as you should too), but I just thought it should be noted that Mr. Tyler is not a deadbeat who will abscond with your cash, should you order something from him. Not that anyone has said contrary. Goddamnit. See, this is what happens when I try to compliment someone.

Got my first issue of PANK! Feel the need to always spell that with a exclamation point for some reason. Or clap hands together.

Conan Tobias did a trade for his colorful Canadian journal  Taddle Creek (or should I say colourful.)

Lastly, Sheba sent me a collapsible birdhouse. I love it.

Stumbled upon UK illustrator and book cover design virtuoso  Adam Simpson and found his cover for last year’s Up a Tree in the Park at Night with a Hedgehog by Aussie writer P. Robert Smith. It’s rare you find yourself looking at a book cover for more than three to five seconds. This one won’t let you take your eyes off it until you’ve figured out what’s going on with every tiny Where’s Waldo-esque character. You are amazing, Adam!

Some random images from the holiday weekend:

This was Chase’s first attempt at a fried turkey. I thought it was delicious. But I think he was expecting the heavens to open up and waves of light to wash over him as he took the first bite. He was a bit let down.

Also, congrats to Chase for receiving the nod from Pitchfork for one of the best vids of ‘09!

This guy was turning his beak up to all the turkeys that got screwed this year. Don’t get cocky dude, Christmas is just around the corner and I ain’t never cooked a goose before.

Or a turkeygoose.

We played a show. This guy’s band didn’t show up and he had to play all his jams solo. The brass balls on this dude. Hats off to you sir.

Viernes with their new multimedia setup.

It wouldn’t be Turkey Day without football.

And it wouldn’t be football without me wishing I was in the marching band.

I was about to make a joke along the lines that I was forming an all-tuba band and call it Tuba Gooding Jr. But apparently he already exists.

In other news, I met a Transformer.

And the cute alert has been ringing off the hook.

Back to work! Back to burning calories! Keeping the gut at bay! To pressing forward and pressing hard until the end of the year! Finish line is in sight everyone! Don’t give up yet! We believe in you if no one else does! Count on that! Set your watch to it!

Speaking of which, keep an eye out for a new video next week…

Stephen tells a story about getting the shit beat out of him and reads more from The Adderall Diaries.

Tent and chairs: check.

Keg of decent domestic beer: check.

Shadow puppets: check.

Magician: check.

All right, now we’re ready to have a party!

I’m usually too busy running around picking up cigarette butts and worrying about whether or not everyone is having a good time to take decent pics at these events that I throw so this won’t be the most comprehensive look at the Issue Five release party, but I’ll do my best.

Travis Winkler, mentalist/magician, kind of blew everyone away with his feats of psychic ability.

And I did a video reading and Polly helped me with the shadow puppet show. See? I told you this wasn’t that comprehensive.

“Hey, you guys are cute with your little puppets and all but we came here to do two things: Keg stands and kick ass…”

“…and it looks like we’re almost done with the keg stands.”

I can neither confirm nor deny that this is a picture of the esteemed editor of this magazine doing a keg stand.

Nick silently tolerated this childishness.

What would you call this? Reverse keg stand? Human stand?

I don’t know about yall but I had a blast. Thanks to everyone for coming out and making this the best release party we’ve ever had!

If you live in Orlando and lament the limited amount of cool stuff to do and cool people to hang out with, then you sound like kind of a bummer and we don’t really want you to come to our party. However, if you are up for some fun times, some even funner entertainment and some infinitely fun beer, then you are in for a treat my friend. See you tonight!